There is something to be said for practicing what you preach. Whenever someone asks me what the right choice is for them when it comes to something fitness related my first instinct is to tell them to listen to their body. I have not been doing that and my body is revolting.
I never ever thought I would be writing this. But the decision has been made and life moves on. I am no longer running the Disney Marathon. Instead I will be running the half marathon alongside my Smutha Mutha.
This decision was not made lightly and involved many, many tears. But the time has come to be honest: I am not happy. Somewhere between the last 7 weeks and now running stopped being fun. It stopped being a stress reliever, something that gave me confidence in my body, something that I woke up excited to do. Sure, every run won’t leave you on cloud 9, but the difference between training for a half and a full is a stark difference in my overall happiness.It is taking a toll on my emotional and physical well being.
The constant exhaustion, moodiness, and weight gain are all glaring signs that this is not right for me right now. I yearn to wake up energetic and excited to work out. To be without aches and pains. And to have a closet full of clothes I can actually wear.
And so I am bowing out. Call me a quitter if you must, but this is what is right for me right now. 6 more weeks of weight gain and exhaustion just aren’t worth the one moment of glory in crossing the finish line. Not when I have such a full and happy life here. I want to stop and enjoy it.
Moving forward I am still going to run because I like it. And when I arrive in Disney in 6 weeks I am going to toe the line of that half-marathon and be proud that I made the right decision for me and my well-being.
By making this decision I feel like I am getting my life back. It’s not that I actually get that much more free time, but mentally I feel a giant weight lifted off my shoulders. Truth be told I was kind of half-assing this training plan to begin with. But I spent countless hours planning when to run, what time to wake up, how to schedule training runs around things I actually wanted to do. And then last night it hit me like a ton of bricks…I don’t have to do this. Just because it is something I want to do does not mean that it has to happen right now. There will always be Marathons. There will always be Disney. And one day I will earn that medal. But it’s not happening January 8, 2012 and that’s okay. This go around I am going to run that half with my Smutha Mutha and be her biggest cheerleader. She’s earned it. And now, well now I’m really looking forward to Disney. As a vacation rather than the impending doom of running a marathon.
It feels so good to put this out there. Judge if you will but this is what is right for me right now do it is what must be done.
Question: does anyone want to buy my bib?
Something to think about: “Saying no to things that don’t support our life goals takes courage and discipline, but it also opens up the door to saying yes to all kinds of positive experiences that actually support the direction that we want to go in our lives.”