Tag Archives | weight loss

There is no alternative!

By on January 27, 2012 in overeating, weight, Weight Watchers

After work last night I dutifully reported to my Weight Watchers meeting to weigh in. With sweaty palms and a palpable amount of anticipation I lined up to face the scale.

I did everything right this week. No throwing away extra points on peanut butter Oreos (uh, no comment), no incidents of “it doesn’t matter I’ll just count this later…”no, I kept my head down and mouth shut (see what I did there?). I planned each meal, made smart choices when Josh and I went out to eat and expected to see great results.

As I mentioned (or stealthily tried to avoid mentioning rather) I was up last week. A combination of deadly factors were to blame and I knew I had to do better. So I did. I attempted to shake it off and try harder. Stepping on that scale last night I was looking for validation of my effort…and I got it, kinda.

I lost, which is great. But I did not lose a lot, or even the amount that I gained the previous week. In my mind this equates to failure. And thus those thoughts of “what’s the point” and “why do I even bother” came flooding in. I wallowed in that for a few hours. Allowed myself to be upset and let the frustration in. But then, well then I read Sarah’s blog post. Although she clearly has a lot more going on then I do I relate to the same challenges she faces and wanting so badly to conquer this battle while continually feeling like we are falling short.

The facts remain that I refuse to go backwards. I refuse to give up on myself and let my struggles control my happiness, my self worth, and my life. So despite the fact that the weight is not falling off as quickly this time around and that the program takes a lot of time and effort I am not quitting. Because I know it works and I choose this hard.

 

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Avoiding Temptation

By on December 24, 2011 in food, Holidays, hydrate, office, temptation, work

In my first Weight Watchers meeting one of the members said something that struck me. We were taking about how to navigate holiday parties and avoiding temptation when the woman chimed in and said that it wasn’t the holiday parties that were difficult to deal with, it was her office. She said something along the lines of her office being “a hostile environment.”

(My tracker and calculator, which is utterly pointless if you have a smartphone)

Prior to my current job, I have never worked in an office environment. Sure I had an internship but it was only 3 days a week so as far as I am concerned it doesn’t count. After I graduated (a year ago, can you believe it!?) I immediately picked up a job at a gym and began working as a personal trainer so I was constantly on the go and on my feet. Cut to today and you will find me bouncing on my stability ball behind my desk for 8 hours a day. Certainly not the ideal circumstances for someone who enjoys being active but you do whatcha gotta do to when a good job presents itself.

Alright so that leads me to the point of this post. I haven’t stopped thinking about what that woman said about the office environment being hostile. Beyond sitting on my butt all day I am surrounded by food. Not ideal for a self-professed foodie. I’m not sure if I have become more aware of all the treats in the office since starting WW or if it has always been this way and I just caved so I didn’t really think about it, but the last 48 hours have proved a shining example of how easily the office environment can sabotage a lot of hard work. Ready, set, examples:

(Molasses cookies)

(Corner Bakery assorted pastries)

(Red Velvet Cupcakes)

…And that is just today. So as you can see, this journey is going to take some serious willpower. But I am motivated by how uncomfortable I feel in my own skin right now and by that feeling I get at the end of the day when I go to bed proud of my choices. That said, it is not easy by any means but there are certain tips and tricks that I am using during this tempting time to get me through the day.

1. Eat a stabilizing and filling breakfast. Any variation of oatmeal keeps me full for at least 3 hours so it is certainly my go-to breakfast food.

2. Stay hydrated/kill my sweet tooth by sipping tea (specifically Trader Joe’s Vanilla Cinnamon variation). It’s a wonder what proper hydration can do to keep you feeling fuller longer.

3. Chew Gum. You can’t eat junk you’re not really hungry for when there is already something in your mouth.

Beyond my little tips and tricks I am just trying to keep the goal in mind. I am trying to remember what it feels like to lose weight and have faith in myself. One bite is never enough for me. So as hard as it is to turn down cupcakes and muffins it is still a lot easier than trying to just have a little.

Day 1 was a complete success. I am glad to have it in the books. I’m over halfway through Day 2. So far, so good.

Question: How do you avoid office temptations?

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Why I am not running 26.2

By on August 30, 2011 in Disney Marathon, goals, hunger, running, running mistakes, weight

I think somewhere deep down I knew all along that this post was coming.

There are many many reasons as to why I am no longer running the Walt Disney World Marathon. I have thought about this long and hard. I’ve weighed the options, made pro/con lists, and tossed and turned at night thinking about what to do. It all boils down to a few signs that I take as evidence that this is just not right.

(Packet pick up at the 2010 Disney 5k)

My head and heart aren’t into it: I think 26.2 is more of a mental battle then anything else and right now I find myself more focused on establishing myself in this new city, giving 110% at work, and enjoying what little downtime I have. I wake up with anxiety about training for this marathon, not excitement, and that is just not right. I put way too much pressure on myself when I registered back in July. But I was in a very different place then. My life was built around the fitness industry and now it is not. Announcing my goal to everyone and there mom seemed perfectly fine at the time. I was 100% committed. But as new responsibilities arose my priorities shifted. I stopped running 5 miles a few times a week and I haven’t run anything double digit in who knows how long. My body isn’t ready to go through something like this. If I am fretting about how to complete Week 1′s 6 miler how the hell am I supposed to ever be ready for 20?!

(This morning’s run. Certainly a far cry from what I used to be capable of.)

My weight struggles are a major concern: I’ve read enough about marathons to know that gaining weight is the norm when training for that kind of distance. That fact scares the bejesus out of me. Beyond the possibility of gaining weight during training (which makes running inherently more difficult), I have already gained a bit of weight since my move from Little Rock. That is why running is challenging right now. Lugging around an extra 5lbs makes everything more difficult.

I want to focus on weight loss right now. I miss feeling proud of the way I look and how I project myself. Running can certainly help with that but only to a certain extent. It has to be about controlling what I eat and being hungry all the time will not make my struggles any easier.

(Right after I finished my first half-marathon.)

The possibility of injury: Due to said weight gain, the risk of injuring myself is much greater. There is more pressure on my joints (specifically my knees) and I’m pretty confident that pushing myself through marathon training at this weight will yield nothing but problems later down the line. My knee already has a dull ache every time I run and adding additional miles is not going to help that.

So that’s where I am at with this whole thing. A huge part of me is dissappointed that I let myself slip so quickly. The list of “if I had only done this” is ridiculously long. I could have prevented this whole thing by being more careful with my portions and dedicating myself to my running. But I didn’t and those actions cannot be undone in time to safely train for this race.

 (Done and done.)

So I am bowing down, but not out. Rather than lose out on what will surely be a magical weekend I still fully intend to race. I am transferring down to the half marathon distance and going for a new PR. This goal is completely attainable. I’ve done it before and I can and will do it again. Running will complement my weight loss efforts with this distance and I will succeed.

Thanks for tuning into another episode of my tumultuous affair with running. I feel really relieved by this decision and I know it is the right thing to do.

Just to be clear, I am well aware that there are people out there that have way more obligations and time restrictions than I have that still train for marathons. But I am not them and I refuse to compare myself to them. This is my decision and I have to follow my own instincts. The comparison trap is a dangerous game to play regardless of the circimstances. But with running in particular it is just a futile exercise. We are all different and what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another.

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What it’s like to be overweight

By on April 7, 2011 in frustrated, hunger, overeating, random thoughts, reflection, running, self-talk, workout

I don’t have any food pictures today, just some serious thoughts that struck me at work yesterday. So like any normal person, I started writing this post…in the notes section of my iPhone.  Just a little warning: You may completely disagree with me on this topic,and that is okay. These are my thoughts and opinions alone. Feel free to leave a counterargument in the comments section.

Do you know what it is like to be overweight?

It is like walking around with a giant sign on your forehead that says “I can’t control the amount of food I eat.“

What it really boils down to is what you are or are not putting in your mouth. Frequenting the gym, while still a step in the right direction, is not the end all be all. In fact, exercise is kind of an afterthought in weight loss because if you can’t control how much food you are eating, you are not going to see results.

Moreover, I think exercise can certainly be a great tool once you have your food under control, but I have found that it can also be a hindrance. By this I mean that there comes a point when exercise makes you hungrier All. The. Time.

And when that happens losing weight, which is already difficult enough as is, becomes all the more challenging because you are fighting legitimate hunger. Sure, you can fill up on the right kinds of foods that will keep fuller longer and all that, but a lot of us eat with our eyes and grossly underestimate the amount of calories in food.

The reason I want to bring this topic up today is because I think a lot about weight/exercise correlations working at two gyms. On top of that, I can relate. This is my struggle. Working out is one of my favorite things to do in the world. But lately I have begun to realize that it is kind of a double edged sword. It is the source of my highest highs and my lowest lows. Reaching a new fitness goal makes me feel on top of the world, but if I can’t limit my food consumption post-workout, I will never attain the results I so desire. For me there is a significant difference in my appetite on a rest day vs. an active day. And it makes all the difference in the world when trying to lose weight. Like I said…double edged sword.

And so it goes, on and on. In my mind there is a constant battle of what I should look like as a Personal Trainer. An ideal standard if you will. And since I clearly do not fit the mold, doubt creeps in. Will people not want to train with me? Are they judging me? Surely, I am not alone, but this is my reality right now. I am way to harsh on myself. My body is not the same it once was 3, 6, or even 12 months ago. I am so much stronger, mentally and physically, than I ever was before. Yet I can’t shake the lingering doubts.

So I move on trying each day to make it better than the last. To be in control of what I put in my mouth, to get the results I yearn for. I suppose I will just leave it at that since I clearly don’t have it all figured out. But I am curious to know where you stand on this topic.

Questions: Have you ever felt like exercise has hindered your ability to lose weight? How do you overcome something like that? Is there any pressure, real or perceived, to slim down from your job?

*I’ll be back with something light and fluffy tomorrow I promise*

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Suck it up Saturday: Baggy Pants

By on October 16, 2010 in baggy pants, Suck it up Saturday, weight

I found inspiration somewhere I never really thought I would this week…

Baggy Pants.

(source)

Now just hear me out.

For the past 3 weeks I have stepped on the scale at the same time, in the same clothes, and in the same place only to see a larger number than the week before.

1.8lbs total.

But I am not discouraged. Not even a little.

Because I know in my gut (catch that play on words?) that I am doing what it takes to be healthy. I am not in this for a quick fix. I’m in this for the long haul. This is my life, not some fad diet that ends when I see that magic number on the scale. There will be setbacks and speed bumps throughout this journey, but it makes success all the more worthwhile.

In terms of how this plays out day to day, I am mentally stronger than ever when it comes to food. I know how to confidently turn something down without feeling like I am missing out. I let go of the guilt I used to associate with certain foods or portions.

(Dinner: 2 slices sesame Ezekiel bread, 1/2 tbsp butter, spinach, tomato, feta cheese, broccoli, carrots, and unpictured 4tbsp hummus and 2 tbsp salsa.)

As a result, my jeans are baggy. And not baggy in the “I’ve worn these around all day to stretch them out” kind of way. We’re talking straight from the dryer to my legs baggy.

So the number on the scale hasn’t budged the way I want it to. Whatever. That number does not define me. In fact, I would venture to guess that it has gone up because I am building muscle. So in my eyes, that is success.

What I am trying to say is that there are victories greater than the number on the scale. It is important to recognize this. It will propel you forward and make you strive for more.

Until next time,

~Jenn

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The numbers matter.

By on September 17, 2010 in binge eating, dining hall food, food, healthy living in college, hunger, overeating, running, self-talk, weight

16.2 lbs.

The number of pounds I have lost since I returned home from Strasbourg.

122 miles.

The number of miles I have run since embarking on my 1/2 marathon training schedule on July 12th, 2010

20.51 miles.

The most miles I have ever run in one week.

0.20lbs lost last week.

The number that signals things need to change…again.

For the past 10 weeks I have been writing down everything that I eat. It is all logged in a journal that has become as much a part of my life as my camera. There is a spot in my room that holds a set of measuring cups that are used to portion out each item I eat. These tools have been instrumental in my weight loss so far. Holding myself accountable has been an eye-opening experience and has taught me a lot about my issues with food.

I want to write honestly right now. It is of little concern to me what anyone who reads this post really thinks, as I need this one for me more than anything.

I have stepped on the scale every single week for the last 10 weeks and viewed a lower number than the week before. That was no different this week.

I have played by the rules, acted responsibly, and did not cheat myself by not writing things down.

Yet, this week, as I once again allowed myself to step on the scale, I anticipated that the number I saw was not going to make me happy.

Instinct did not deceive me tonight. 0.20lbs. The same loss as last week.

It is a mediocre loss during a time when I refuse to settle for anything less than extraordinary.

I busted my ass last week to hit 20.51 miles. I ate clean and gave it my all.

Then I got sick, missed a training run, and found myself weighed down with responsibility.

…This all culminated tonight in something I am not proud of, yet feel like I need want to share.

I am typing this with a tummy-ache because I ate too much tonight. I left portion control, my journal, and my sense of responsibility behind. I feasted on things I have not tasted in months, flavors I barely recognized, and portion sizes I was not sure my body could still handle.(Some butter mixed with veggies and rice. No, wait…some veggies and rice with butter.)

Smutha Mutha has been my greatest supporter when it comes to my training and eating regime. She understands that I relish in the control. She celebrates my successes alongside me and is there to comfort me when I hit roadblocks. To tell the truth, this was the first major roadblock I have hit, but just as I thought, she was right there in my ear listening to me vent.

(French fries.)

My weight loss has followed a consistent pattern over the last 2 1/2 months and I didn’t really know how to react when my efforts stopped producing results.

(Reece’s Puffs and Cinnamon Toast Crunch)

Smutha Mutha and I spoke at length about how I need to alter my food intake now that my “long runs” are actually of substantial length. It means eating more. More of the clean, wholesome foods that fuel my body and allow me to progress.

So although I may go to bed with a stomach ache tonight and wake up with a sugar headache tomorrow, I do not feel defeated. The foods I consumed tonight are not really things that I miss. I mean, they were fine for dinner tonight and certainly gave me a flashback of freshmen year, but I do not think I could handle this sluggish and lethargic feeling every day. That is how I know this is simply part of the journey, not the end of it.

Because everyone has moments of weakness, when control no longer seems desirable and the need to just let go becomes overpowering.

Tomorrow will bring a new day of promise and possibility. I will pick right back up where I left off and find a way to succeed. The way I see it, it is how I react after the fact that is really important. I choose to take back control, focus on what I know works, and move forward. This is a minor blip in what has otherwise been one hell of a journey.

Until next time,

~Jenn

 

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