Tag Archives | weight struggles

The One Where I Try Not to Overeat

By on March 20, 2013 in binge eating, food, hunger, overeating, snacks, work, workout
I was going to write a What I Ate Wednesday post but sometimes I feel like a bunch of pictures of food doesn’t tell the whole story. It can be much more interesting to understand the thought process behind the choices of a professed overeater. It’s a vulnerable thing to openly share these types of things on the Internet but if you’ve been reading for a while you know that blunt and honest is the way things go.
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Upon waking I asses the damage from the night before. I’ve been pretty good about tracking on MyFitnessPal this week so I am a happy girl knowing I stuck to normal portions and didn’t eat for comfort.
I make a light breakfast to hold me on until mid-morning. It’s always smart to eat something before heading into work as I am never sure how long my commute will take.
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(Everything bagel thin with a schmear of almond butter and a banana)
Before I know it the morning is half over and I am famished! I inhale the second part of my breakfast and am glad I waited until I was actually hungry to eat it.
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(Greek yogurt, peanut flour, honey, and 1 cup of Cheerios)
I have a small window for lunch on this particular day so I eat when time allows.
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(I made a salad that turned out better than expected and snagged the small half of a blueberry Panera bagel from the kitchen)
During my meeting I had lunch dessert and still felt decent about my choices.
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I got back to my desk around 3pm which is approximately the time each day that my resolve to eat healthy and mindfully goes out the window.
I ate my afternoon snack (a kids clif bar and 2 clementines) even though I wasn’t hungry and immediately wanted more food. Funny how the mind works I drank water and tea in attempts to thwart the cravings but I was not successful.
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Snack number two was a hard pretzel with almond butter, 1/2 diet coke, and 3 peanut M&Ms. At this point it all became mind games. I got more water and told myself that my evening run would suck if I did any more damage.
So it was head down and mouth shut for the rest of the day.
After a commute home and a quick change of clothes I inhaled a banana in hopes it holds me over long enough to run.
Spoiler: it did the trick.
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I did a 5k run and a bit of walking afterward to cool down and promptly headed home to shower and fix dinner. I was really hungry and didn’t want to cook (what else is new during the work week) so I came up with a random, yet delicious quick dinner.
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(Cup of Trader Joe’s vegetarian chili, tortilla chips, and green beans)
I packed the exact same thing for lunch so I should be in good shape for today.
So there you have it. The good, bad, and ugly of a professed overeater. Sure, this is mildly embarrassing to post my deep dark emotional eating issues but I find these types the most interesting to read so I figure it never hurts to put yourself out there! My overall calories were a bit higher than I would have liked but I did the best I could. Here’s to fighting those mid-day munchies!
 

Question: How do you best avoid eating for comfort?  

Comments { 5 }

Weight Loss vs. Health

By on March 2, 2013 in workout

The other day my plus one and I got into a conversation about “our thing.” I casually asked him what he thought my thing was and he said that is was “snacking and working out.” (So true, by the way.) I immediately thought to defend myself as this topic directly relates to my life-long weight struggle and he quickly pointed out that those things don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

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You can love eating and working out. You can enjoy these things at leisure or with a fiery intensity. I don’t have to fit the ideal image of a fitness enthusiast to prove that it is something I love.

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In the epic struggle that is weight loss I often revert back to a thought that lingers in the depths of my consciousness. Maybe this is my body’s healthy weight? Sure I don’t have abs, and to most people I probably do look a little hefty, but if my body is healthy, I am able to do what I love and eat what I like, should I not just embrace it?

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My thoughts on weight loss are constant. I feel like I am fighting an internal battle 24/7. I’m too hard on myself in regards to this, I just know it. But when I see other people succeed, or never deal with their weight at all, I can’t help but want to try a little harder. I think society as a whole places a lot of pressure on us to fit a certain ideal. Whether you are reading about bloggers who work out for a living or view images of stick thin celebrities who are encouraged to be thin, it is messaging that is difficult to escape.

I’m not sure I will ever find a real balance between being healthy and wanting to lose weight. In my mind these things are correlated no matter how hard I try to separate them. But I will keep trucking along because what I am doing works. It keep she healthy and happy and I suppose that’s all that matters at the end of the day.

Question: Would you rather lose all the excess weight you’ve been struggling with or keep the weight but have perfect health?

P.S. Check back on Monday for a super sweet giveaway from yours truly!

Comments { 7 }

Phoning It In

By on February 28, 2013 in weight

The past week I have been under a lot of (self-imposed) stress. Despite knowing that it’s mostly in my head, I allow things beyond my control to overwhelm me to the point of no return. Like many areas of my life, I like to be all or nothing. I either consider my choices perfect or horrible. I’m still working on finding balance in the middle gray area.

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(Breakfast: Greek yogurt, banana, cinnamon, honey, and peanut butter puffs)

With my friend from Arkansas in town my workout and eating schedule was thrown off. Worth every minute? You bet. But I still felt the lingering guilt as I skipped workouts for dinner’s out and slept through one too many morning alarms. I want to get back on track, but on some level I have already resigned myself to the “another failed weight loss attempt” notion. It’s not true. I need to keep telling myself that. But I’m struggling to really believe it. One week off does not constitute failure. I still have to live my life.

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(Snack: Shelled edamame)

So I am not weighing myself this week, which is why you did not see my normal “weigh in Wednesday” post yesterday. I am going to force myself out of bed in the morning no matter how badly I want to sleep in (trust me, this morning was painful!) to get my workouts in because it sets me up for success the rest of the day.

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(Dinner: Vegan pizza with broccoli and green beans)

I am going to keep my meals and snacks simple and be more mindful. I know what makes me feel best. And as much as sugar and sweets are great in the moment, its back to basics for long term success. Time to stop phoning it in and get my head back in the game.

Question: How do you get re-motivated after a week off?

Comments { 4 }

Suck It Up Saturday: Quotes to Remember

By on February 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

Happy Saturday!

My Saturday mornings are normally reserved for long runs but tomorrow’s weather looks much friendlier so I am holding out. In the meantime you guys are stuck with me! For any new readers (hi, I love you already), on Saturdays I like to share whatever is keeping me motivated. You can see all of my other installments of this series in the Suck It Up Saturday tab at the top of my blog. I hope you enjoy!

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So, I have a confession. I am not that into Pinterest. I mean, I have an account and I can see where it could be fun and addictive, but it just doesn’t do it for me. I’ve had my moments though, like everyone else, where I just want to read a motivational quote that I can relate to. One that makes me feel like “huh, it’s like they get me!” In those moments I totally cave and think that little website is a brilliant invention. So I did some digging around the Inter-webs and this is what I have come up with:

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(source)

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(source)

I think that nicely sums up where my head is at right now. :) So this weekend, try to remember to make good choices and that we are all in this together.

Question: What is your favorite motivational quote, saying, or mantra?

Comments { 3 }

Setting Expectations

By on February 8, 2013 in food

As you know, on Wednesday my weigh in number was not so good. I proclaimed that Thursdays number would have to be better because I am doing everything right. Well guess what happened Thursday morning? I hopped on that scale with all the enthusiasm I could muster and saw the exact same number.

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(Dinner: Panko crusted tilapia caesar salad)

Cue the pep-talking and self-preservation. I promised myself this time would be different. That I wouldn’t over-restrict myself only to end up binging. That I wouldn’t weigh myself every day as if that number somehow defined me. That I wouldn’t stop actually living in order to lose 10lbs. But just two weeks in that seems to be exactly where I am headed.

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(Onwards and upwards)

So I am checking myself, right here and now, and setting more realistic expectations.

I’m not perfect. I can’t eat 1200 calories a day (or even 1400 for that matter) and be expected to survive, let alone function. I’d rather be curvy and enjoy fro-yo and sprinkles than skinny and pass on cupcakes. I will always strive for a goal and even if it takes me forever to reach it, I will not give up. This is my reality. My normal.

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(Dinner at Ping by Charlie Chang: Miso soup, edamame, spicy tuna roll {always wipe off the mayo} and a rainbow roll)

I read so many blogs about women who make it look easy. My hat’s off to you guys. I am just not that person. I think my weight will continue to be a struggle for me but I will not let it define me. It’s so easy to spiral downward into self-loathing when you don’t see a number you want on the scale or your pants are a little too tight. But there is so much more to it than that. I write these things to share but mostly as a reminder to myself. I know what it is to choose to feel good and really believe it. That is what I want to do and who I want to project out into the world. Losing weight is great, it really is. But it is such a small part of the story. I need to keep that in perspective and maintain realistic expectations.

How do you best maintain realistic expectations?

Comments { 7 }

Wednesday Weigh In

By on February 6, 2013 in D.C., exercise, workout

I don’t know about you, but I am always so relieved when the first two days of the workweek are behind me. There is something about making it to Wednesday that allows me to let out a sigh of relief. It must be the knowledge that the end of the week is in sight.

Wednesday is also weigh-in day. I have been religiously tracking…even meals out. I usually just estimate the calorie count and try to not stress over it. Today didn’t go so well as I was up 0.6 but I am not discouraged <–kind of a lie, see the end of this post. We had dinner at the Capitol’s game last night so I assume a lot of the gain is directly related to the sodium content of the food. I plan to re-weigh tomorrow and call that my official number for the week.

Monday and Tuesday went by in a blur thanks to many projects keeping me busy at work, a crappy commute, and lots of time spent in the gym.

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Love the complimentary breakfast!

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The bane of my existence.

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Stress reliever.

The prep-work I did on Sunday has come in very handy for some quick lunches and dinners. On Monday, when I finally sat down to dinner at 9PM I was greeted by this bowl of deliciousness.

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I smothered it in nutritional yeast and ketchup before inhaling. Dessert was in the form of a very deformed popsicle.

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Yesterday was a long day. It began at 5:30 AM and a little bike action before busting through some endurance strength training.

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Then 9 hours of work happened followed by the hockey game at the Verizon Center.

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We snagged some ridiculously cheap club level seats on Stubhub a few weeks back. It turns out that you can act all fancy and get dinner at the game for a reasonable price on a Tuesday. Who knew?! So last night was quite the treat!

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I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. Whew!

Today I plan to take it easy. I may do some yoga tonight or just lay low. Over the course of this post I’ve been thinking more about my weigh-in and how frustrating that stupid little number is. It makes me feel like this:

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(A little sad and ridiculous for caring so much. Thanks for the photo Alex)

I have killed it in the gym this week and my food choices have been almost spot on (probably 80%). Yet the scale doesn’t budge. I cannot tell you how many times I have been at this exact place before. It makes me want to sit on the couch with a bag of Oreos. But I won’t do that this time. I will keep tracking in MyFitnessPal and hopefully have some good news to report next week at this time. Say a little prayer I don’t end up like that little pup looking all sad!

Question: How do you rebound after a bad weigh-in?

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